Back to ..... AHHHHHHHHH! ... School!

Yes, that's right! Even after 4 successful years as a teacher, three as a special education teacher, I have butterflies!

"Will I be able to break down barriers with parents and invite them in as a partner?"...
"Will my lesson plans be ok?"
"Am I going to have many students with behavior issues in my class? And will I handle everything ok?"
"Is it my evaluation year?"
"Am I going to get invited and be able to attend the staff development meetings?"
"Wait? I have how many triennial reviews this year?"
"Oh my goodness the race is about to begin!"
"And what if I want to start a family this year will I be able to handle the work load? Will my car hold up another year?"

The list goes on and on and yet I know, that as soon as I see those darling facing lined up outside my door on the first day Ill remember that it's will all be ok because I do make a difference and I do care. From my toes to my nose, I care that my student make it in this wacky world!

Seldom Seen Steps of a Struggling Student

"People seldom see the halting and painful steps by which the most insignificant success is achieved." 

~ Annie Sullivan ~

Three years we have been working on reading - sounds, blending, dictation, decodable.... sounds, blending, dictation, decodable... sounds, blending, dictation, decodable...

I thought it would never happen...  He thought it would never happen... The words move and flip.  Each line a little wigglier than the first, headaches, embarrassment, fatigue. "I can't read!"  But then, painfully at first, he begins to read - s....i....t,  p....e....t, r....a.....ck..... rack!  The hat is on the rack!  He did it - he's reading!  He is so proud and now curls up in the classroom library reading instead of doodling in his journal during preferred activity time. His parents are ecstatic and hope has been renewed - "I think he has a chance to graduate high school someday!"  It has been the most rewarding experience yet, to have been able help this wonderful boy with a learning disability enter the world of reading for pleasure. He reads everything he is able to and he shares this love with other struggling students by being a reading buddy - he has been helping an other boy learn letter sounds and he proudly encourages him to keep trying and shares his experience. Truly amazing!  

But now its time for the CSTs and the pain is back - I am hearing students loose faith. "I can't read!"... "It's scary to take a test." I try to encourage them and help them keep strong and hold on to the self worth that we have worked so hard to build. Even knowing they can have items and choices read aloud, they are still loosing faith in themselves. Even though they are not reading grade level text they ARE reading AND growing! They ARE reading!  

I tell them that its effort that matters not a score!  They get excited again when we talk of effort as opposed to grades and of this being their chance to show everyone how much they know. It helps - I think.  But I know that they have a nervous feeling and a nagging inside that makes them feel inferior. 

I urge everyone during these state wide assessments to be gentle, loving, and positive. Encourage our children who struggle by pointing out their strengths and admire their efforts. They are brilliant and need to be reminded of that fact - a tiny bit of encouragement goes so far in the world of a child with a disability.

"People seldom see the halting and painful steps by which the most insignificant success is achieved." 

~ Annie Sullivan ~